July 29, 2014 ~ This Arrangement is Too Difficult

This is a post that I wrote late in the summer, three months after I moved into my own house and only about a month before our custody arrangement changed. Now, my son is spending three nights per week at MSTBE's house and I see MSTBE very minimally. He's in my house for minutes per week instead of hours. I'm publishing this old post because it reminds me to keep things in perspective; nothing lasts forever and I can make it through anything temporarily, no matter how difficult it is. Here's the post:


In case you don't know (like you haven't read all of my riveting posts - yeah right!), I see MSTBE quite often and he is in my house most evenings. I won't go into the details because those of you that have read all of my posts have read the details twice already. (If you haven't read about our weird, temporary custody arrangement, read this: Sometimes I Feel Like We're Doing This Right (If There is Such a Thing.) But this arrangement is just getting too difficult.

This morning, while we were getting ready, my son told me that MSTBE was looking in my closet yesterday and when he asked MSTBE what he was doing, MSTBE told him that he was looking to see what color shirts I have. What in the hell was he doing looking in my closet?  He doesn't realize that my son tells me everything that seems fishy or different in any way. He was trying to cover it up with my son by making up a lie about what he was doing. (For more about the lying, refer to my previous post: Why Does He Have to Lie?)  Seriously, what kind of creeper is he?

Yes, MSTBE is regularly in my bedroom with my son while I put my daughter to bed. Yes, it is a weird arrangement. I don't have a television in the living room and my son likes to watch Curious George before he goes to bed so they hang out together in my room. MSTBE sits in my little sitting area and my son hangs out on my bed. It was incredibly awkward at first but I had gotten used to it. Now I just don't know what to do. I haven't trusted him in a very long time but I didn't think he'd do things like sneak around in my closet and steal diapers from me. Oh wait, do you not know about that? Yes, he was stealing diapers from me, smuggling them out of the house even though it clearly states in the divorce paperwork that we are each to have our own supply.