July 23, 2014 ~ Obvious Statement: I Am Much Nicer to People Who Are Nice to Me

You're thinking, "Duh! Why bother with a post about it?"

I'm just thinking out loud here. As I was driving home from Trader Joe's, thinking about how things have been between MSTBE and myself for the past year or so, I realized that he really hasn't figured me out even though we've know each other for over eight years.

First, let me give you some background. When we initially met with the lawyer that is mediating our divorce, MSTBE had a conniption when he found out he was going to have to pay support. "I thought that since she gets to spend more time with them, I wouldn't have to pay anything."

I'll pause here so that you have time to stop laughing or to give you a moment to day, "Are you f-ing kidding?!?!"

Anyway, I've never seen him behave as ugly as he did for the week or so following" this meeting. It was so awful that I don't even want to remember the details so that I can write about them. And then, a few months later, when we moved into separate houses (finally), money came up again and we were back in the midst of an awful week.

What I realized this morning is that, had he been nice and talked through things rationally with me, I would have compromised more. Maybe I would've agreed to less support than I'm legally obligated to. Maybe I would've decided to pay for all of the kids' diapers until they were actually staying at his house (even though the law clearly states that we are each to have our own supplies). Maybe those things would've been stupid to do, maybe not.

I am the type of person who would return money to the rightful owner if I found it and knew or was able to figure out who lost it. I feel guilty if I walkout of the grocery store with water under my shopping cart that the checker never scanned. In fact, I always try to remember to point it out. I don't want a free ride in any sense.

As I'm writing this, it still astonishes me that MSTBE hasn't figured out how to "play me" or to make things work a little more in his favor. I'm also astonished by the fact that I still didn't know h as well as I had thought after five years, when we had our first baby together.

Thanks for listening to my thinking out loud post. It was on my mind and I wanted to get it out.