And so is the pediatrician's office.
I go to a small, family owned dentist. I love them! Every employee knows every patients name from the first time they have an appointment with them. The dentist remembers who you are, what you do for work, how many kids you have, etc. And because it's a small office, there are only a few techs, which means me and my soon to be ex husband have the same tech.
Today I went in for a couple of fillings. I swear, it seems that as I get older my teeth get weaker. I guess I have to get used to things like this, right? Anyway I'm sitting in the chair waiting with the tech and he asks me how my husband felt about the hockey outcome. Now that I'm no longer living with a sports fanatic, I don't even know who was playing in the Stanley Cup. (Hey, at least I know that it's called the Stanley Cup and that it happened very recently.) I don't remember exactly what I said but I do remember that it sounded like total BS.
Here's the thing: nobody in the office knows that we're going through a divorce. How do you tell people whom you only see twice a year that you're getting a divorce? I haven't even told most people at work, whom I see several times per day. It's just not the easiest thing to bring up in conversation. "Yeah, my Algebra students are killing me this year with their laziness. By the way, I'm getting a divorce." Or "I'm so glad that my teeth are in better shape because I've been flossing more. Did I mention that I'm in the middle of a divorce and that the address change that I had you record is no longer my soon to be ex husband's address?" And just in case you're wondering, I am flossing more. And I highly recommend flossing. It has made such a difference in the condition of my teeth and gums and it is also very important for heart health.
But I digress. The same thing happens at the pediatrician's office. Every time that we've gone in for the past nine months or so, the pediatrician has commented that "Dad" wasn't there and that he used to come to all of the appointments. First, let me be clear. He came to every one of my son's appointments for about the first nine months but he hasn't been to more than one or two since then. My son is three. I'm not bashing him; I don't think that it's important that both parents go. I'm just saying that the doctor has a selective memory. So what do I say? "Um, yeah, about that. We're getting a divorce."
Here's what I'm thinking. Once the divorce is final in August, the mister is going to have to switch to his company's health and dental insurance; he's been using mine since we got married because its much more affordable. When that switch happens, the dentist's office will know about it and that we are living in different residences. And when the divorce is final, I am changing my name back to my maiden name. So both offices will know about my name change. And hopefully that will be that. (The decision whether or not to change my name back was a difficult one and I'll post more on that another time because it's such a huge, important part of the divorce process for every woman.)
And now I will go off on a tangent. I don't know what to call my soon to be ex husband. I don't want to call him "my soon to be ex husband" every time I type something about him. I was playing around with calling him He or Him in previous posts and it just felt odd. In one post I referred to him as "my new roommate" when I was writing about having just moved in together and that sounded terrible also. Although we did end up living like roommates for quite some time. Referring to him as "the mister" as I did above is obnoxious. I don't want to use his initials and I'm certainly not going to refer to him by name. Does anybody have any suggestions? Seriously, please leave a comment if you do.
If you can't tell, I'm feeling in quite the sassy mood today. Happy Hump Day!
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