June 29, 2014 ~ What I Want - My Dream Relationship, An Ongoing Post

I'm certain that I will think of things that I should have added here every single day.  I think about my posts and always want to add to them after I type them.  But this is going to be something that I obsess over because it's about something that I want.

Let me start by saying that I can't imagine ever getting married again.  I think that's a post in itself so I'll save the "Why?" for another day.  But I do think about it and what it would look like if I ever do change my mind.  Basically it's a list of "What Have I Learned From My Previous Experience?"

In this post, I'm going to focus on something that I've really been... craving.  I think that's the only word that really fits.  Craving.  I have been craving a connection with someone that is built on common interests.  There are some romantic notions that go through my head.  I have the desire to go wine tasting with someone.  I want somebody who loves to travel as much as I do.  But the craving that I'm talking about has more to do with the day to day connection.  I want someone who will go running with me.  I want to be able to sit down at night, have a beer, and watch our favorite TV show together.  On another night, we would be content reading books side by side in bed. One night we'd go out early with the kids to a family friendly restaurant and on yet another night, we would get dressed up and go out to a nice dinner and have drinks together after the kids had gone to bed.  

I guess these are all somewhat romantic notions and are also all things that are incredibly difficult to do when you have kids.  But my marriage with MSTBE was lacking common interests from the beginning and it's something that I kick myself about constantly.  How did I think it was okay to marry somebody that I had nothing in common with?  But that's the thing: I thought that we had things in common.  Shortly after we got married, I started getting frustrated with our lack of connection and MSTBE used to just blow it off and say we had nothing in common, like it was no big deal.  But it was a huge deal to me, so much so that I made a list one day of all the things that we had in common because I wanted to prove him wrong.  I don't remember what was on that list nor do I have any idea where it is but it was obviously enough to keep me going for a few more years.  We both tried to like things that the other person was into but faking it could never last.

Here's the vow that I'm making to myself, in front of all of the world to read (because this blog is available for all of the world, if they feel so inclined to read it):  IF I EVER GET MARRIED AGAIN, I WILL MARRY SOMEONE WHO HAS MANY SIMILAR INTERESTS!